Writing Prompt #1: How do I feel right now?

How do I feel right now? The past few days, weeks, have been a rollercoaster. I’ve felt everything. I’ve felt happy, elated, joyful, free, depressed, trapped, angry, frustrated.

But right now?

Right now, I’m okay.

Yes, things are alright. It’s a lesson in quiet acceptance; there is nothing to do, but continue, even though it feels like everything has changed.

I miss my people. I miss my office. I miss my office chair (seriously, my back is fucked and I am desperate for that sweet, sweet lumbar support).

I feel hopeful. I feel that — even though we’re on lockdown — we’re rushing toward a change that’s been a long time coming. We are awakening to the true power of people, of the group. I am grateful to be a part of it. I am excited to see what comes next.

I feel alive, and I feel as though I am dreaming; this new normal is strange. I look up from my workspace and I see my kitchen, I hear birds, I see greenery and sunlight — it’s idyllic. Still, there’s an unseen manic undercurrent of meetings, phone calls, briefs… am I still home if home has become my office? Am I displaced, and in place?

I feel longing to see my friends, to hug them, to kiss their faces and tell them “I love you!” without fear.

I am fearful. We all are. But… this fear instilled in us has made me fearless — I will do these things in spite of, as soon as I am able. The anxiety that blankets me when I consider going outside does not control me, and it will not last.

And you, my friend, the reader — I hope you feel everything. feel it all. Face the feeling. We cannot be our feelings; we are the thing on a deeper level that feels them.

So… how do I feel right now?

I am just… feeling.